Hilarious Quotes on Psychology

1. The human mind is like a parachute – it works best when it’s open. – Unknown

2. Psychology: the science of understanding yourself and other people, and then trying not to laugh at how crazy we all are. – Unknown

3. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. – Unknown

4. Therapist: Someone you pay to tell you what your friends are too polite to say. – Unknown

5. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. – Albert Einstein

6. The problem with psychology is that it often deals with people who need more help than the psychologists. – Unknown

7. I’m not crazy, I’m just not crazy about reality. – Unknown

8. Sigmund Freud: The man who made the unconscious conscious – and gave therapists job security. – Unknown

9. I’m not a psychologist, but I can definitely tell you that you have some issues. – Unknown

10. It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about the reality I accept. – Unknown

11. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. – Dave Barry

12. The mind is like a TV set – when it goes off, it’s a good idea to have a backup plan. – Unknown

13. You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? – Steven Wright

14. I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours. – Unknown

15. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. – Robert Frost

16. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that. – Stewart Francis

17. Psychology: the only profession where listening to people complain all day is considered a skill. – Unknown

18. There are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying – in their version. – Robert Evans

1. Psychology: The only profession where you can diagnose yourself with every disorder in the book and still be considered normal.

2. The best therapists are those with a good sense of humor, because sometimes the best medicine is a good laugh.

3. Psychologists do it with Freudian slips.

4. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So basically, my daily routine.

5. The only thing scarier than a psychologist is a psychologist with a sense of humor.

6. My therapist asked me what I think my problem is. I told him my problem is that I think I have too many problems.

7. I don’t need therapy, I just need a punching bag and some snacks.

8. Pro tip: When in doubt, blame your parents. It’s always their fault, right?

9. My therapist says I have unresolved issues. I say I’ll resolve them eventually. Maybe.

10. Psychology: the science of why people do the things they do. Spoiler alert: it’s usually because they’re a little bit crazy.

11. If you think you’re going crazy, just remember: it’s only the psychologists that haven’t caught up with you yet.

12. I asked my therapist if she thinks I have multiple personalities. She said, ‘Oh, we’re just getting started.’

13. When in doubt, overanalyze everything until you drive yourself crazy. It’s the psychologist way.

14. I think I have a split personality. One half of me wants to change the world, and the other half wants to stay in bed all day.

15. Psychology: because who needs a happy childhood when you can spend the rest of your life trying to figure it out?

16. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

17. The more you know about psychology, the scarier the world becomes.

18. Therapy is just a fancy word for talking to someone who gets paid to listen to your problems. It’s like a one-sided friendship with a copay.

1. Psychology is the study of the mind, but sometimes it feels like studying a bunch of wild and unruly monkeys.
2. Sometimes I think psychologists must have the best sense of humor, because they deal with the craziest personalities all day long.
3. In the world of psychology, a sense of humor is not just a bonus – it’s a survival skill.
4. The best therapists are the ones who can make you laugh while delving into your deepest traumas.
5. Psychology is like a never-ending episode of a sitcom – you never know what crazy thing will happen next.
6. A psychiatrist walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ‘Can you pour me a double shot of Freudian slip?’
7. Why did the behaviorist break up with the Gestalt psychologist? She couldn’t handle all his perceptions and wholes.
8. Trying to understand the human mind is like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded – you never know if you’re making progress or just going in circles.
9. You know you’re a psychology nerd when you find yourself over-analyzing every single conversation you have.
10. The only thing more entertaining than reading psychology books is watching psychologists try to put their theories into practice.
11. Why did the psychologist bring a ladder to therapy? To help his patients reach new heights of self-awareness.
12. When it comes to psychology, the only thing scarier than facing your own demons is trying to understand someone else’s.
13. If you ever feel like you’re losing your mind, just remember that psychologists get paid to do it every day.
14. Psychology jokes are like Freudian slips – they reveal more about your inner thoughts than you realize.
15. Why did the cognitive psychologist bring a map to therapy? To help his patients navigate their thought processes.
16. The best psychologists are the ones who can see through your lies and still crack a joke about it.
17. Sometimes I wonder if psychologists have a secret code language that only they understand – or maybe they’re just messing with our heads.
18. In the world of psychology, laughter truly is the best medicine – especially when paired with a hefty dose of self-reflection.

1. Psychology is the study of the mind, but sometimes it feels like we’re all just a little crazy.
2. You know you’re in trouble when even your therapist starts laughing at you.
3. The best therapists are the ones who can make you laugh through your tears.
4. Psychology: the only profession where it’s perfectly acceptable to talk to yourself all day long.
5. They say laughter is the best medicine, but sometimes you just need a good therapist.
6. Psychologists: helping you unravel the mysteries of your mind one joke at a time.
7. I asked my therapist if I was crazy. He said, ‘No, you’re just really interesting.’
8. They say you are what you eat, which explains why I’m a nutcase.
9. A good psychologist can read your mind, but a great one can make you laugh about it.
10. In psychology, sometimes the only cure is a good laugh.
11. My therapist told me I needed to learn how to laugh at myself. I said, ‘Well, I’m in therapy, aren’t I?’
12. Psychology is all fun and games until someone introspects too deeply.
13. I told my therapist I was having an identity crisis. He said, ‘Just pick one and run with it.’
14. Psychology: where the study of the mind meets the art of comedy.
15. They say laughter is contagious, which explains why therapy sessions are always so lively.
16. Psychologists are like modern-day Jedi knights, using the Force of the mind to fight the Dark Side of mental illness.
17. Therapists are like comedians, except instead of laughter, they elicit tears and breakthroughs.
18. There are no wrong answers in psychology, just funny ones.